1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,289 Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 2 00:00:04,290 --> 00:00:06,649 Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights 3 00:00:06,650 --> 00:00:09,889 Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 4 00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,329 Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times 5 00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:15,089 Romans rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless 6 00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:17,729 Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages 7 00:00:17,730 --> 00:00:23,129 Gory stories, we do that And your host, a talking rat 8 00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:27,049 The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... 9 00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:31,610 Horrible Histories. 10 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:41,649 Yo, yo, yo! MC mouse is in da house. Well, actually I'm a rat, 11 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,129 but MC rat in da flat sounds a bit rubbish, really. 12 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:46,889 Anyhow, time to get this song special started, 13 00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:49,929 so let's rock back to the Stone Age! 14 00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:53,929 Not that this is a rock song, it's actually jazz. 15 00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:57,689 And so you've heard the Stone Age occurred 16 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,610 For two and a half million years 17 00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:03,649 But there's more of Stone Age to engage 18 00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:06,410 Than maybe it first appears 19 00:01:07,810 --> 00:01:11,289 Dinosaurs, Neanderthals let's make this clearer 20 00:01:11,290 --> 00:01:13,689 Didn't live together came from different eras 21 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:17,089 That's not all I can tell ya So much more to be known 22 00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:19,809 About the many phases in the ages of stone 23 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:23,009 Shoo be do be do wop it's all the rage 24 00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:25,409 So skiddly bop do wop brush up on your Stone Age 25 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:26,889 Oh, yeah! 26 00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:28,769 All right! 27 00:01:28,770 --> 00:01:31,329 It's fine to define the Neo-Palaeolithic 28 00:01:31,330 --> 00:01:34,409 But you're gonna have to be a little more specific 29 00:01:34,410 --> 00:01:37,489 Do you mean lower when ancient beings first used tools 30 00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:40,569 Or metal Palaeolithic when Neanderthal ruled? 31 00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:43,289 That's when Homo sapiens starts to emerge 32 00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:46,329 But just in Africa, it's long before the global surge 33 00:01:46,330 --> 00:01:49,409 Not till upper Palaeolithic 40,000 years ago 34 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,609 Did Neanderthal and Homo sapiens say hello 35 00:01:52,610 --> 00:01:55,649 Neanderthal and Homo sapi 36 00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:58,649 Living in caveman harmony 37 00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,289 Language was invented cave painting art 38 00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:04,209 Then Palaeolithic ended which meant the start 39 00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:07,369 Of phase two be do be do wop turn a new page 40 00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:10,169 Skiddly bop do wop brush up on your Stone Age 41 00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:13,529 Oh, yeah! All right! 42 00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:16,409 This is where it starts to get all scientific 43 00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:18,889 Palaeolithic's followed by the era Mesolithic 44 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:22,009 Then Neanderthals are wiped out by the ice age, horrific 45 00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:25,169 After which the Neolithic age was terrific 46 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,969 Man learned to farm, build homes so they could settle 47 00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:30,969 Then some other folks turned up and they discovered metal 48 00:02:30,970 --> 00:02:33,769 Bigger men from Europe found bronze and outgrown 49 00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:36,889 The simple and traditional ways of stone 50 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,449 Bronze Age was invented by now man was flying 51 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:43,169 Cos hot on his heels came the age of iron 52 00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:45,769 Celts, Druids, religion and Rome 53 00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:49,089 By now a distant memory those ages of stone 54 00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:51,929 Shoo be do be do wop since that metallic stage 55 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:54,369 Skiddly bop do wop there was no more Stone Age 56 00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:57,649 Sho be do be do wop now you know what is known 57 00:02:57,650 --> 00:03:00,249 About the many phases of the ages of stone. 58 00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:04,249 Ye-e-eah! 59 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,530 All right! 60 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,449 Time for the next song. You ain't wrong, 61 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,969 it's Egyptian star, Cleopatra. 62 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:14,089 Rah rah, Cleopatra 63 00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:16,049 Famous beauty coming at ya 64 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:17,969 Rah rah, Patracleo 65 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,769 Guys all go gaga for me-o 66 00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:23,409 I am a leader and a lady and a Queen 67 00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:27,329 I'm Cleopatra, such a Queen never been seen 68 00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:30,809 I am a pharaoh, yet they're all meant to be guys 69 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:35,289 But I don't care-o, I just wear-o a beard disguise 70 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:38,449 My mum and dad were pharaohs I thought I was too 71 00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:42,449 But both my older sisters thought that they should rule too 72 00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:45,330 Oh dear they both died I wonder who that will leave 73 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:50,169 Little me-o pharaoh Cleo OK, no time to grieve 74 00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:54,689 Think that's alarming, you'd be right but it gets worse 75 00:03:54,690 --> 00:03:58,849 Married my half brother and we ruled the universe 76 00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,609 That bad romance led to an overcrowded throne 77 00:04:01,610 --> 00:04:05,529 But then he died, boo hoo So now I rule alone 78 00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:06,970 Woah woah woah woah woah 79 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,289 All hail lady Cleo 80 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,450 Woah woah woah la la 81 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:12,930 Coolest pharaoh by far 82 00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:19,209 Fashion topped my list of vices 83 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:21,169 Bathed in asses' milk and spices 84 00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:24,409 Then I dressed like goddess Isis Long black hair in ringlets nicest 85 00:04:24,410 --> 00:04:26,489 Vipers too for men entices 86 00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:29,130 Finest linen robe, top prices 87 00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:36,289 Married another brother, he's an OK geezer 88 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:39,889 But never told of my love for Julius Caesar 89 00:04:39,890 --> 00:04:43,889 Had Caesar's child and hoped that he'd be crowned king 90 00:04:43,890 --> 00:04:47,489 My bro said no, I said oh and I murdered him 91 00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:51,089 Cos I am Cleopatra Egypt's royalty 92 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:55,409 The ruling pharaoh don't you dare-o mess with me 93 00:04:55,410 --> 00:04:58,649 My poker face smiles only when I see 94 00:04:58,650 --> 00:05:02,729 A man who takes my fancy like, oh, Mark Antony 95 00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:05,410 - Woah woah woah woah woah - Another Roman leader 96 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,290 Woah woah woah la la No Egyptian crowd pleaser 97 00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:14,129 - Rah rah, Cleopatra - Finally I'd met my match-a 98 00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:17,729 - Rah rah, Patracleo - Ends in death for him and me-o 99 00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:21,809 My life was a drama I was one kooky mamma 100 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:24,969 Woah woah woah you know 101 00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:29,129 Today I'd be a favourite of the paparazzo. 102 00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:31,569 No pictures, no pictures. 103 00:05:31,570 --> 00:05:34,449 Are you liking my music mix so far, eh? 104 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,329 You should be. I'm the best DJ in the world! 105 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:41,089 If you think I like to boast, you've never met a Celtic warrior. 106 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,409 Let's have a... 107 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,249 Boast battle! 108 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,689 BEATBOXING 109 00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:48,569 So let's clear the air Grab a chair 110 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,729 I got flair when I fight a bear 111 00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:53,009 I rip off it's skin for my wife to wear 112 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,609 I did it for a dare I'm your worst nightmare 113 00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,489 Look close, check out my facial hair 114 00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:02,049 Relax, face facts, a fight with you would be an anticlimax 115 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,329 When you go to war, you don't take off your slacks 116 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,649 Look at me, I'm tough I fight in the buff 117 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:10,009 - I could say more but I've said enough, so... - Boast battle! 118 00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:12,409 - Have grace, shut your face - Boast battle! 119 00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:13,529 You're well off the pace 120 00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:15,809 Seems to me that you're not even skilled 121 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,899 I'd stab you right now but I'm trying to chill 122 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,639 In a rage, on the rampage 123 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,639 I've killed more men than old age 124 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,319 - Boast battle! - And I've only just begun 125 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,679 - Boast battle! - And I'm not even done 126 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,959 You're just killing the enemy That's lazy 127 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,159 I kill my own people I'm that crazy 128 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,679 I go berserk and my eyes go glazy 129 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,719 I get so mad I could stab a daisy... 130 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,839 But I won't, cos that would be...stupid 131 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,959 All right, all right, stop! Think a while 132 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,839 Look at your style, man, that's vile 133 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,159 Looks like you've been dressed by a reptile 134 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,359 I'm dressed like a king I wear a torc round my neck 135 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,639 When I'm doing my killing On my finger, I'm wearing a ring 136 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,519 When I said I fight nude, I wasn't counting my bling, yeah 137 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,279 - Boast battle! - And I paint myself blue 138 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,639 - Boast battle! - That's way, way cooler than you 139 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,199 So much better than you that you ought to bow 140 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,239 I'd fight you but you wouldn't know how 141 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,279 Enough of the talk, yeah? End this now 142 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,919 I can sum it all up in just one word... 143 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,879 Aww! 144 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,800 Mu-um! 145 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,479 Those Celts might think they're tough, 146 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,360 but they're nothing compared to this Middle Ages Scottish rebel. 147 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,359 I am William Wallace My life was a mystery 148 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,399 Some say born 1272, some say 1263 149 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,639 Was that Malcolm of Paisley Maybe Alan from Ayr 150 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,679 Did I have a wife or no? Do you really care? 151 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,719 They say I had a big red beard but all you need to know 152 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,959 I was a Scottish rebel and the English were my foe 153 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,279 William Wallace, Scottish rebel 154 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,159 This is war, I cried 155 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,359 Many English fought me 156 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,600 And many English died 157 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,959 I took against the English back when I was fairly wee 158 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,279 Cos an Englishman called Selby bullied my whole family 159 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,039 It upset me so I struck him dead Well, wouldn't you? 160 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,399 An English sheriff came along Guess what? I killed him too 161 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,279 They say he killed my wife so he deserved what he got 162 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,359 Then England's King Ed came for me 163 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,759 Oh, I'm scared...not! 164 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,799 William Wallace, Scottish rebel 165 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,119 Possibly six foot seven 166 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,919 But all that really matters is 167 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,439 I sent Englishmen to heaven 168 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,559 40,000 English came to Stirling Bridge for me 169 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,639 They had to cross a narrow bridge to get to us, you see 170 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,559 We held them off, pushed them back, it was no contest 171 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,439 Bridge collapsed hundreds drowned 172 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,159 Of course I killed the rest 173 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,959 Celebrated Stirling Bridge another Scottish win 174 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,559 By decorating my sword with the English General's skin 175 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,399 William Wallace, Scottish rebel 176 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,719 Scottish legend too 177 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,679 Fought for Scottish freedom 178 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:16,039 Was a hero through and through 179 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,080 GUITAR SOLO 180 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,799 Here's where my rebel story comes unstuck 181 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,559 At Falkirk defeated I'd run out of luck 182 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,399 Spent seven years playing hide and seek 183 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,639 Captured, sent to London, tried for treason, what a cheek 184 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,999 King Ed hanged me then a lovely touch 185 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,800 Pulled my guts out Guess he didn't like me much 186 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,279 Ye-e-e-eah! 187 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,079 William Wallace, Scottish rebel 188 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,439 In Scotland my heart lived 189 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,119 Though sadly my head wound up 190 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:03,279 On a spike on London Bri-i-idge. 191 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,919 Ooh, that smarts! 192 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,399 Time for some Aztec priests to change the mood, 193 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,880 so let's see you get on down at the disc-aztec. 194 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,239 We're Aztec priests so mind your head 195 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,239 Our prisoners always wind up dead 196 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,239 Our favourite colour is blood red We're not nice 197 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,479 At an Aztec temple's opening day 198 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,799 We priests would please the gods this way 199 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,799 Hordes of enemies we'd slay by sacrifice 200 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,199 To win at war make crops grow more 201 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,119 To cure our kids when ill 202 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,359 The sun to shine this song to rhyme 203 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,359 More victims we must kill 204 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,719 Ha ha ha ha 205 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,439 You won't survive You won't survive 206 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,919 Ha ha ha ha 207 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,239 Ain't staying alive Ain't staying alive 208 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,079 Ye-e-eah 209 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,239 With sacrifice, we priests appease 210 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,519 Our gods, each powerful big cheese 211 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,679 Let's hear it for your favourites please 212 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,759 Oh-oh-oh 213 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,879 We're doing it for Toci 214 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,039 The Aztec goddess of the earth's heart 215 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,399 We're doing it for Chantico 216 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,399 Goddess who makes volcanoes start 217 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,359 We're doing it for Itzli 218 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,199 The goddess of stone knives 219 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,839 We're doing it for Itztlacoliuhqui 220 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,159 Chiconahuiehecatl... 221 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,199 Er... Some other gods' great lives 222 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,999 Ha ha ha ha 223 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,359 Don't cross us Aztecs we advise ya 224 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,359 Ha ha ha ha 225 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,959 Or you'll end up as fertiliser 226 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,399 Ye-e-eah 227 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,999 Our year starts in November 228 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,159 When every priestly member 229 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,039 Is asked if they'll remember our Aztec dead 230 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,079 We do this if you haven't guessed 231 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,119 By getting something off your chest 232 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,439 Your heart would probably be best or else your head 233 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,359 And then on our year planners it's the raising of the banners 234 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,999 And it's only polite manners 235 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,399 To kill more guys 236 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,559 December and January dismembering methods vary 237 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,639 All you need to know is that we pile 'em high 238 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:16,079 May and June, it's summer time the killing is easy 239 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,999 It's only halfway through the year 240 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,999 Bet you're feeling queasy 241 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,519 In autumn time, we sweep our homes and kill some more, but then 242 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,559 By late October the killing's over 243 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,639 Then it starts up again 244 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,959 Ha ha ha ha 245 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,959 You won't survive You won't survive 246 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,959 Ha ha ha ha 247 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,999 Ain't staying alive Ain't staying alive 248 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,399 Ha ha ha ha 249 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,439 Want to live until you're old? 250 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,479 Ha ha ha ha 251 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,319 Avoid us priests You've been told. 252 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,799 Ha-ha-ha! 253 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,679 Middle Ages' King Richard III came in for a lot of bad press. 254 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,719 But did he really deserve it? 255 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,120 Take it away, little Richard. 256 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,039 I was sure that you'd love me 257 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,159 To that hope I did cling 258 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,159 Cos I'm Richard III 259 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,559 And everybody loves a king 260 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,919 Thought I did a good job Why do you disagree? 261 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,319 There's a lot of people spreading nasty rumours 'bout me 262 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,399 Every word is a lie so I'm singing this song 263 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,119 Cos the history books have been telling it wrong 264 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,039 Never had a limp Always walked my full height 265 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,039 Never had a hump and my arm was all right 266 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,279 Never took the Crown with illegal power 267 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,639 Never killed my nephews the Princes in the Tower 268 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,800 Tudor propaganda, it's all absurd 269 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:49,280 Time to tell the truth about King Richard III 270 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,599 My brother Edward died 271 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,599 His kids too young to rule 272 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,519 So I took the throne 273 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,279 Why not? I'm nobody's fool 274 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,439 Thomas Moore wrote a history said I murdered Edward's boys 275 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,799 Shakespeare said their death was an evil ploy 276 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,799 But I say those two are historical vandals 277 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,439 They've ruined my image I mean, what a scandal! 278 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,439 Never bumped off those harmless young heirs 279 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,239 Never buried them under the Tower of London stairs 280 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,919 Never poisoned my wife bumped off her daddy 281 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,799 This is me, sweet Richard Do I look like a baddie? 282 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:34,400 Never was two-faced sure you'll agree 283 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:40,840 I was misunderstood King Richard three 284 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,959 Can you imagine it I'm the last Plantagenet 285 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,159 Beaten by Henry in the Wars of the Roses 286 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,199 The Tudor dynasty didn't care that much for me 287 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:56,159 Now I'm painted as a baddie, that's why one, supposes... 288 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,919 Never forget when you hear of my crimes 289 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,799 Never drowned my brother in a massive vat of wine 290 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,839 Never said a horse, my kingdom for a horse 291 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,199 Who made that up? Why William Shakespeare of course 292 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:13,919 Now my tale is told You won't hear a bad word 293 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:19,479 About a special ruler, King Richard III. 294 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,639 I'm a nice guy. 295 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,679 WASP BUZZES 296 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,639 Oh, there's a wasp, there's a wasp! 297 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,520 There's a wasp! Oh, there's a wasp! 298 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,239 Poor old Richard III, he seems like a nice guy. 299 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,879 Unlike this Georgian villain, 300 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,320 who everybody thought was terribly glamorous. I beg to differ! 301 00:15:40,381 --> 00:15:43,879 Everyone thinks they know the story 302 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,399 Of Dick Turpin's highway glory 303 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,999 But my past is far more gory I was no saint 304 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,119 You think life is one big antic My profession is romantic 305 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,280 Hate to be pedantic, but it ain't 306 00:16:00,031 --> 00:16:02,119 Huh! 307 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,239 As a butcher down in Essex I was handy with a knife 308 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,839 Had a sideline as a poacher Led a less-than-honest life 309 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,239 The notorious gang of Gregory liked my style and dedication 310 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,919 They signed me up and gave me a real robber's education 311 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,079 We rampaged through the Essex farms, stole and robbed and fought 312 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,519 But when the law came for us I escaped and they got caught 313 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,679 I became a highwayman 314 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,279 - Was daylight robbery - Huh! 315 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,919 I was no prince charming 316 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:36,319 - Nothing dandy about me - Huh! 317 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,359 The truth is I was violent and with my good mate Matt King 318 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,519 Robbed travellers at gunpoint Money, watches, anything 319 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,879 My horse wasn't called Black Bess although that's what you've read 320 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,799 Was no romantic hero Shot not one but two men dead 321 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,719 The legend that surrounds me misses out the crucial part 322 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,279 I was a ruthless killer with a ruthless killer's heart 323 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:01,239 I was a vicious highwayman A source of pain and tears 324 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,719 Huh! 325 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:06,199 When you hear how my story ends 326 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,759 - You won't believe your ears - Huh! 327 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,879 I ran away to Yorkshire changed my name to John Palmer 328 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,399 Was sent to prison after stealing chickens from a farmer 329 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,599 Wrote a letter to my family A plea it did relate 330 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,159 The postman saw the envelope and here's the twist of fate 331 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,319 He had taught me how to write so he knew I'd lied 332 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,999 That's not John Palmer's hand That's Dick Turpin's, he cried 333 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,839 Was a vicious highwayman, my crimes had brought me fame 334 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,359 - Huh! - Was stitched up by a postie 335 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:42,519 That's not glamorous, that's lame 336 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,719 Huh! 337 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:48,759 No more stand and deliver You'll remember this I hope 338 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:49,999 Huh! 339 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,399 It's no fun hanging with highwaymen 340 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,759 When you're hanging from a rope. 341 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,759 Us DJ's sometimes do requests and here's one right here. 342 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,719 It says, "Please shut up and play the next song." 343 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,800 Right then! I'll, er... shut up and play the next song. 344 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,120 A little something from Victorian times. 345 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,160 In good old Queen Victoria's day Industrial Revolution 346 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,919 Meant bosses said please we need more employees 347 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,079 We needed a solution 348 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:33,359 Who will climb our chimneys Who will power our grids? 349 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,959 Victorian families so desperately poor 350 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,960 They'll let us employ their kids for... 351 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:47,279 - Work, terrible work - From very young ages 352 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:52,399 - Up chimneys to clean - Paid pitiful wages 353 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:57,039 - Work terrible work - Pins make you work faster 354 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:01,920 - If we grow too big - Get sacked by the master 355 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,079 Now you're all in my employ 356 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,759 Cleaning in the factory 357 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,559 - We're not very strong - And the hours are long 358 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,159 This work is unsatisfactory! 359 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,359 Learn not to get caught in spokes 360 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,959 Or trap our hands in gauges 361 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,919 To stop machines and get you out 362 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:33,039 Will cost you one week's wages 363 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,839 THEY GASP 364 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,399 - Work terrible work - There's no health or safety 365 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:44,439 - So if we get hurt - They will just replace me 366 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,880 Work terrible work... 367 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,370 Sorry! 368 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,760 SHE WHISTLES 369 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,599 Now that I am short of cash I have to pick pockets 370 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,879 Wallets from gentlemen and ladies' lockets 371 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:08,359 Small enough to get away Hardly ever caught 372 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:12,279 And if we are, we're kids you see To cry is what we're taught... 373 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,519 Boo-hoo! 374 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,519 Work terrible work 375 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,879 Dangerous and demeaning 376 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,799 - No time to complain - Get back to your cleaning 377 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,039 Work terrible work 378 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,199 Guess what we are dreaming? 379 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,519 School glorious school 380 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,119 Wonderful school Marvellous school 381 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:37,199 Wish we went to... 382 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:41,079 Scho-o-ol. 383 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,279 And it wasn't just Victorian children who got a raw deal, 384 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,039 so did women. 385 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,199 Because only men were allowed to vote 386 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,359 and towards the end of Victoria's reign, 387 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:55,559 some women started protesting this was unfair, good day. 388 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,079 - We are the Suffragettes. - Think you know some fierce girls? 389 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,679 You ain't heard nothing yet. 390 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,479 A lass called Millie Fawcett founder of our cause 391 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,639 Started the battle for our rights 392 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,519 Argued the government to change the laws 393 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,679 Here is how she stated our plight 394 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,479 How come girls can't vote for rules that we have to obey 395 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,719 When we work and pay taxes too 396 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,399 - Parliament's reaction was... - Oh, do go away! 397 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,639 How dare they diss the Suffrage crew 398 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,279 Suffragettes sing We're going to do this thing 399 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,719 Peaceful protests started in 1903 400 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,359 Got no reaction Needed drastic action 401 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,960 - Got a new leader, Emmeline Pankhurst - That's me! 402 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,959 Burst down to parliament shouting votes for women 403 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,839 Actions that were shocking and new 404 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,639 Chain ourselves to Palace gates Tension was brimming 405 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:00,119 On the WSPU 406 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:03,919 Burned down churches, smashed up shops, attacked MPs 407 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,599 The result, we were thrown in jail 408 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,039 This made us more determined as you'll come to see 409 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,359 Think we'd give up fighting? Hey, fail! 410 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,879 Suffragettes sing Together we can win 411 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,439 In prison we protested and went on hunger strike 412 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,719 Men still said no But we just said yo! 413 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,519 You won't stop us now... 414 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,599 Miss Davison, please take the mic 415 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,239 We became more extreme 416 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,399 Derby Day, June 13 417 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,559 In front of King and Queen committed sacrifice supreme 418 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,959 Crept unseen between the teeming crowds watching the race 419 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:43,199 And threw myself under a horse to try and make our case 420 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,079 Became a famous martyr How did men react...? 421 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,599 We can't give women votes if they're so stupid, they'll do that! 422 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,919 Seemed our cause was lost when World War came along 423 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,159 Our Suffragette reaction 424 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,399 Was to wave our protest goodbye Farewell, so long 425 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,359 To patriotic action 426 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:06,879 Put down our banners saying give us votes, instead 427 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,519 Supported the men's fight 428 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:14,039 We worked to help them win the war, so guess what they said...? 429 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,239 OK, ladies, you were right. 430 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,639 Suffragettes sing, We've done it, ding ding 431 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,599 At last those men can see they should treat us the same 432 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,839 So all take note Now women can vote 433 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,679 And it's thanks to those who fought 434 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,280 In the Suffragette name. 435 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,439 That's all from me, the MC. 436 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,479 My work here is done, been fun, 437 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,919 One last rhyme, see you next time. 438 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,399 The rat rules. And so, my friends, did this little lot. 439 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,760 Go on! I challenge you to learn the chorus. Ha-ha! 440 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:55,919 I'm William the Conqueror My enemies stood no chance 441 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,279 They call me the first English King although I come from France 442 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,759 1066, the Domesday Book, I gave to history 443 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,279 So fat on death my body burst but enough about me 444 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,399 To help remember all your Kings I've come up with this song 445 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:15,239 A simple rhyming ditty for you all to sing alo-o-ong 446 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,399 Oh! 447 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,399 William... 448 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,079 Bit short, innit? We need more kings. Who came next? 449 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,879 William II, cheeks were red Killed out hunting so it's said 450 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,199 - I took over, Henry I - That's my next eldest son 451 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,239 Then King Stephen It's true, check it 452 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,839 I, Henry II killed Thomas Beckett 453 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,479 Richard Lionheart, that's right Always spoiling for a fight 454 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,079 Oh, King John, what a disaster Rule restrained by Magna Carta 455 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,999 William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! 456 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,199 Time for my mate, King Henry eight to take up this song 457 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,359 Henry III built the RB Ed I hated Scots 458 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,999 A red hot poker killed Ed II That must have hurt him lots 459 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,199 Edward III was a chivalry nerd Began the Hundred Years' War 460 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,759 Then Richard II was king aged ten Then Henry, yes, one more 461 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,799 King Henry IV, plots galore Not least from Henry V, why? 462 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,519 - Killed ten score at Agincourt Then Henry VI arrived - Waah! 463 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,879 Edward IV, Edward V Richard III, he's bad 464 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,839 Cos he fought wars with Henry VII First Tudor and my dad 465 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,399 So Henry VIII, I was great Six wives, two were beheaded 466 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,799 Edward VI came next but he died young and so my dreaded 467 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,639 - Daughter Mary, ruled so scary then along came... - Me! 468 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:34,519 I'm Liz the first, I had no kids so Tudors RIP 469 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,119 William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! 470 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:41,399 Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich II Then three more Henrys join our song 471 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,119 Edward, Edward, Richard III Henry, Henry, Ed again 472 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,079 - Mary I, good Queen Bess - That's me, time for more men 473 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:52,159 James VI of Scotland next as English James I he led 474 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,279 Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles I The one who lost his head 475 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,639 No monarchy until came me Charles II, I liked to party 476 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:02,199 King Jimmy II was scary, ooh! Then Mary was a smarty 477 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,519 She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled by sourpuss Anne Gloria 478 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,359 And so from then you were ruled by men 479 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:12,079 Till along came me, Victoria-a-a 480 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,799 William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! 481 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,559 Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich II, then three more Henry's join our song 482 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,959 Edward, Edward, Richard III Henry, Henry, Ed again 483 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,119 Mary I, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles again, 484 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:28,479 Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria 485 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,359 Still to come it's Queen Victoria 486 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,919 - And so began the Hanover gang George I and George II - Grim! 487 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,879 - George III was quite absurd - Till I replaced old him 488 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,279 - King George IV known henceforth As angry, fat and cross - Hang on! 489 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,559 - It's true you beat Napoleon but were mostly a dead loss - Bang on! 490 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,559 - Old William IV was a sailor - Ahoy! - It's nearly the end of the story-a 491 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,479 On to the scene comes the best loved Queen 492 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:54,399 Hail to Queen Victoria-a-a 493 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,319 William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! 494 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,559 Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich II and three more Henry's join our song 495 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,719 Edward, Edward, Richard III Henry, Henry, Ed again 496 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,919 Mary I, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles again, 497 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,999 Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria 498 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,359 George, George, George, George Will, Victoria 499 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,719 Victoria-a! 500 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,199 Victoria-a! Victoria-a! 501 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,519 I ruled for 64 years, you know. 502 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,759 Ed VII, George V, Ed VIII 503 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,839 George VI Bess II then reigned, and how! 504 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:30,559 And so our famous monarch song's been brought right up to now 505 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,999 Oh-oh-oh! 506 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,239 William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! 507 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,439 Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich II and three more Henry's join our song 508 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,359 Edward, Edward, Richard III Henry, Henry, Ed again 509 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,679 Mary I, good Queen Bess, Jimmy Charles and Charles again 510 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,559 Jim, Will, Mary, Anne Gloria 511 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,999 George, George, George, George Will, Victoria 512 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,519 Edward, George, Edward, George VI 513 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,119 And Queen Liz II 514 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,919 Completes the li-i-ist 515 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:03,319 That's all the English kings and queens 516 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,199 Since William I 517 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,839 That there have be-e-en. 518 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,159 Tall tales, atrocious acts 519 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,199 We gave you all the fearsome facts... 520 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,319 Want some more Horrible Histories? 521 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,399 Then come with me down the time sewers. 522 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,879 Just go to the CBBC website and click on Horrible Histories. 523 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,000 See you down there! 524 00:28:21,050 --> 00:28:25,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0